2day i woke up feeling really low,felt it since last night.I just really feel like overdosing to be with my dad,broke down last night and ended up letting out my thoughts about killing myself so now ppl are going to be watching over me even more not sure if thats a good thing or what.
I just feel as if im going no wer in life and seem 2 push anyone/anything away from me that could be good for me.I’m forever tortuerd about my dads death and really belive that i could of stoped him from dieing,if only i hadn’t let my mum take me away from him than i could of saved him, but everyday i have to live knowing that i cant ever see him again and everyday it breaks my heart even more. Just wish somebody could come along and make the world a better place so nobody as to sufer anymore.
Its doing my head in just walking pass ppl in town with there little snide comments and looking at me as if im just a waste of space when they dont reallt know me or what im going through.Whats it with ppl aswell who say they wana help then the next they are changing there number and then giving me dirty looks when i pass them in the streets,who are they to judge me just bcuz i have done things that are stupid in ther eyes. I just feel as i im getting judge every minute of every day,who the hell do they think they are wold love to see how they cope being depressed but no they have their perfect little lifes to go. Why wont the mental health ppl help me instead they fob me off and just tell me 2 go home,because ive not died yet then they wont help me well they have got blood on their hands bcuz im not sure how long i can last before it all gets to much,its getting all to much now.