I had a midnight epiphany; well let’s go with some thoughts I had to get down on paper. I asked myself why am I now taking a break from dating. What is it about this time in my life? What is it about my emotional status now that wasn’t there before? Well, doing some soul searching I have come to the conclusion that the men in my life have never done right by me, from Dad on down. I think that the decisions men in my life have made and my reaction to them have contributed to being emotionally weary and mentally exhausted.
Sam is ex # 1the one I caught in bed with another woman, Chris ex # 2 is the one after a year and a half decides he doesn’t ever want to get married or have kids, and Ryan ex # 3 (if we dare call him that) was just interested in sex, that’s it (as he told me in a cold tone of voice). That sums up the past four years of dating in a nutshell.
Prior to this I still had hope, dismissed the bums I encountered and kept my head up. I find myself thinking now that no man can do right by me I should stop hoping because hope hasn’t work in the past umpteen years perhaps it’s time to try a different approach. I haven’t figured out what the approach is but right now I’m content with just being by myself. I’ve realized that right now it’s the best thing for me; I don’t have anything to offer a prospective suitor at this moment in life. With that said I also need to do some healing by myself I don’t know if I could do the necessary healing with someone.
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