It’s hard to explain every thing to you because  most of it is embarrassing. I’ve grown up with potential liars, swift thinkers and have master the art of hiding my feelings. I don’t wanna be that person because you have seen me before.

So let me start here, for as long as I can remember I should have called you back and fixed things. I was hurt and sad because I was afraid. You and I had a bond that was really deep. I hoped you wouldn’t give any of your self to another person. It sucked according to my 15 years brain. I had never loved someone the way I loved you. I let you take my virginity because you were exactly who I wanted to give it too. It was perfect. I know people say their first time is always shitty but mine wasn’t. I didn’t know of it was your first time but I didn’t care.

Now we are years later no longer 15. We are adults still growing into people we want to be. Your still handsome as ever, funny and your deep voice.. makes my heart melt like it did when I was 15. Over the years I thought about you. I hated you for a while. Then when things started to change I became bitter. I hurt you and im sorry from the bottom of my heart.

 

I feel as if us meeting the other night was just chance. Then when I was in the same bubble as you, my whole body was on edge. Every single time you talked I just wanted to listen. Everytime you smiled I wanted to see it. So I could see how much of you has changed. I close my eyes now not around you think about your face, and your words. Everything I fell for came back. The hate comes at me because I wonder if you ever felt this way.

Then you opened up first, you told me you thought the other night was amazing. I thought so too. You should know every kiss i gave you that night, I had been thinking about for the past 10 years. After that connection was made I can’t help but wonder what you thought.

Then you remind me again how I fell in love. We use to share sappy love songs. And enjoy them together and apart. You sent me [Heaven sent- front porch step.]

I listened to at least 10 time before I fell asleep because I felt almost every emotion match mine. Like it was always meant to be.. me and you.

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