When I was a senior in English class, a boy asked me to do his homework.  He said that's what people like me were supposed to do.  And people like him would pull over at the side of the road and help people like me when our cars broke down.  And that was the way it worked.

What I should have said to him was this: "Oh, really?  So one unspecific day in the distant future, if I'm having imaginary car troubles with my imaginary car and happen to pull over by the side of a road which you also happen to be driving down at the same time, you'll pull over and help me?  How considerate.  Do your own fucking homework you lazy little shit."

I should have said: "Unless a doctor has diagnosed you with mental retardation or some other mental disability, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to do one of the easiest fucking assignment sheets ever given to anyone in our grade level.  Don't you realize how much our teacher has been dumbing down for this stupid fucking class because he knows you're all too lazy and incompetent to actually accomplish anything?  Although, I guess he must have been vastly overestimating your abilities, you neanderthalic fuck."

I should have said: "Blow me."

I shouldn't have said anything.  I should have kept my head down, doing my own work.  Maybe I should have just flipped him off.

Instead I told him I wasn't who he thought I was.  That my grade point average was actually pretty low, considering I had never tried at school in my life until the year before.  And then he laughed and told his friends who laughed.  Because they had high grade point averages.  Because they always got high grades.  Because they cheated.  And that was the way it worked.


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