It's true all my friends are abandoning me..i don't have many friends and now those who i allowed to get close have moved away!! i've got nobody who i can talk to, apart from my therapist who i'm grateful for but as she clearly pointed out a few weeks ago 'im NOT your FRIEND' i just feel so alone. I'm get really jelous when i see groups or couples out together having a good time..coz i miss that.
My family seem to be getting on great since i moved out,i feel so out of place going back there now..My brother is a very confident young man who is going traveling for a couple of months soon..and my not so little sister is allowed to go to parties dressed as a **** and my parents are fine with it, i'm jelous! Not that i would dress like that, just jelous she had social contact..i haven't got the looks or confidence to do anything worthwhile. She was the center of attention at lunch today coz she had a hangover and was acting silly..jeez if i did that at her age i'd be locked in my room!!
I bought my sister a present for her 16th birthday/christmas to go and see a show in London, it was really expensive and took a big chunk out of my budget. today she was asked to be a bridesmaid for her friends wedding, and my mum was asked to be maid of honour. I'm obviously invisible..but yeah guess what it happens to be on the same day as the show!!! and i can't cancel or refund the tickets coz that's the websites policy :'( I may aswell not exist.
I have nothing to look forward to apart from dying.
the only thing that gets me up in the morning is my cat when she wants feeding and letting out.
I've self harmed more this week than i have done in a singlemonth. just feeling completely useless 🙁 i've been stuck in a well of depression for weeks now, it usually comes n goes but this one isn't shifting..i can't even seem to cry. just feel solid. no work 2moro..gr8 🙁 another slash to the budget 🙁
*gives up* :'(