I was haveing a normal day with my kids. They were acting up as usual and I jad to punish all of them. When it came time to punish my 3 year old he desided that to tell me that I am not his mom any more and that his dad's girlfriend was. It broke my heart in two. I have herd this kind of thing before from my other two kids. I guess I am not a good mom if all of them feel that I am not good enough to love. I hate days like this. The worst I do to them is yell and sream with the ocational but wooping with my hand. I do not, I can not use a belt. So it's not like I beat them or anything . So why do they hate me sooo much. I have actualy thought of giving them to their dads permanatly. I think most of my depression is them any ways . I want to die everytime I yell and every time they tell me they don't love me any more. I know if I gave them up I would hate myself even more. The part that hurts the most is kids tend to say the truth. What am I to do? The more I am around them the more I want to die, but the more I am away from them I want them back I can't take this crap anymore. I think I should go see someone then I think if they hear what I am saying they will have my kids taken away from me. Also I don't want to have to go through telling people over and over again why I feel like dying. All I want is something to take care of the pain, the frustration. Maybe is I don't feel the hirt I would be a better mother. Like I said I just don't know what to do.

2 Comments
  1. angels5888 14 years ago

    dont feel bad hon all kids do that they say i hate u, and iwish u wernt my mommy and they do it b/cuz they are mad and knows it gets to u , even very little ones u have to just ignore it and yeah the wil say i wish so anso was my mommy b/cuz they spoil them but u have to be the parent not their friend u mustdiapline them , they need and want that no matter what they say, u have to set boundaries, so dont feel bad, it happens to all of us ok if u need to talk let me know

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  2. Jewels31 14 years ago

    I cna relate to you so very much.  When my daughter was born, I suffered severe depression.  I didn't want to be a mommy.  My hb worked full time and I hurt my back during delivery.  I couldn't move or nurse her.  I felt like a failure.  At 8 months, I divorced my hb and told him to take her.  I felt they did not deserve to suffer through my illnesses.  Since then, 3yrs ago, I am thankful my exhusband supported my mothing attributes.  He still supported me even after i left him for another man.  WE have 50/50 custody and I have her 5 days a week.  Our daughter tells him she always wants me and then she says to me that she wants Daddy.  Children do say the truth, but what they say is meant at the time and forgotten minutes later.  THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  Next time this happens ask in simple ways what they want to do for fun.  When my 3yr old says that to me….I say Daddy is't here, but we can call him, sometimes we do and soemtimes we don't.  Then I pull the oddest things out of the cabinets to play music and make up silly songs……..I grab toilet paper and rip it up to makes snow for her.  By the time we are done we are laughing and all is forgotten.  Usaully all that is left is a mess in the house.  Anger can be taken out on punching a pillow and yelling at it.  Write a letter using your childs words and say let's get rid of this anger…then have them rip it to shreds and through the bad stuff away….then make a fun list and hang it on the wall.  When you have self doubt it's difficult to be imaginative, give it a try.  You can do it, I have talked to my therapist in depth about this, and I have over come my self doubt and guilt that i wanted to leave her.  I thought I was doing it for her own good.  I know that my mother is not perfect, but I would never, ever wish I had a different mother.  Chin up!  You are a good mother fighitng an illness….give yourself a pat on the back for still fighting.  Happy Hugs….and remember silly messy fun is wonderful for all of you!  This is just my opinion and it's from experience, hope I have helped.

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