So Im working on changing behaviors right now.  Ive been doing alot of cleaning today because Im pretty tired of living like I dont give a shit about anything.  I cleaned the bathroom, that was fun…I live with my younger brother and another roomate and were all pretty fuckin lazy, plus we have a cat and a dog and I must say eliminating that hair and funk of an unknown age makes me think that when i get in the shower tomorrow morning im gonna be happy it isnt there. 

Ive been playing with a workout routine off and on for months now, I think Im actually gonna stick with it though…no matter how much I dont want to do it.  I also have decided that no matter how I feel Im gonna get my ass up at 9AM so that I dont stay awake all night and keep being tired as hell all the time.  Trying to break the cycle….

Im trying to find things to talk about other than bitching about my own BS, but I still come up short.  I want to be smooth with everyone I come across…I know that I want this, but I dont know how to get past 3 sentences with anyone…even my brother.  Ive always been real quiet and withdrawn like that…that ones not going to be easy to change. 

Change…its a process (no shit right), Its sad that I have to force myself to better my life but its the only way that it will happen…and Ive wasted too much time already.  Noones going to hold my hand, noones ever been there to pick me up and its probably because Ive never given anyone any reason to…I realize that now. 

Alright, Im done bitching, if anyone has any advice about approaching people and topics of interest id really really appreciate having something to force myself to say to some of my coworkers cuz Im a lil concerned about job security right now.  Ill share something in return


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