Hi i was recently diagnosed with GA, and SAD. I have had it all my life but i never really knew what it was i just thought it was me being me (normal) but then the doctors tell me this is not normal and i have anxiety. I hate the way it feels i can't have a normal life i just want it gone. My whole life i have felt that everyone is watching me and judging me on the things i do and say, how i talk, how i walk, how i dress, and the things i do. I never want to go anywhere it is really hard for me to go to the grocery store and when i do i feel like the door is miles away and it keeps getting furthar and furthar, i cant breath that well my heart is racing, my chest is heavy i am very light headed and i just want to hurry up get my groceries and leave. I dont want to be seen or heared and therefore i do not want my husband to speak or do anything at all basically to attract any attention to us and he often gets mad when i tell him to be quite or quit what he is doing.

Sometimes i am so bad i do not want to leave the house at all i cant even walk my dog(for the longest time she would use the bathroom on puppy pads or cardboard i would lay on the floor, she is just now going outside) or check the mail. If my husband opens the blinds too much, or opens the front door too far and for too long i freak out and tell him to close them bc i dont want anyone outside to see me or inside the house. I do not drive i do not work i cannot be around people at all.

so my husband is in the army and he had to deploy so i had to go move back home so i would have ttransportation. While he was gone i got depressed and my anxiety got worse i got addicted to shopping online and marijuana. The marijuana really helped with my anxiety it was almost completely gone and i could actually drive a little bit and i was so confident with myself. Well now my hubby is back from deployment and we moved back to the base we got stationed at so now i have no access to it nor do i want to risk my hubby getting in trouble if i ever got caught with it so the anxitey is back and worse than ever. I know what medication i need and i know what works i need clonazapam it has the same effect on me as marijuana and it works perfect but my doctor will not prescribe it to me bc it is "addictive", so i am just stick here with the anxiety until i mmove back home where i can get some marijuana. Has anyone else tried marijuana for this it really works.

Does anyone else have the same problems as me?

I also forgot to say that i cant talk to people on the phone either but its not as bad as it used to be also everytime i go somewhere and i hear people laughing or talking i think they are laighing at me and talking about me