I can't even BEGIN to explain the horrible things that have happened to me. And it's supposed to be a new Year ? I honestly thought well I'm not not going to make it! Everything Just fell right in front of my face and I can't cope I've never been able to cope with my feelings . It either resorted to cutting or Just plain anger. I guess that's where I get my issues from my mechanisms to calm my anger down have actually gotten weirder. Usually I would cry and clench my fists to prevent punching or screaming my lungs out. And If I was sad I would cry , cut, sit there and wonder .. Now it's as if it all amuses me. Something bad happens to me in a situation where I get angry and I end up laughing uncontrollably, and I've found myself squeezing whatever was placed in my hand at the moment. And I don't realize I'm doing it until I hear someone ask if I'm okay. And now if I get sad I go to sleep. Or try to get myself angry so I can laugh it off. I don't really like talking to anyone cause they don't understand , or act like they do . And they never help /: I can understand why I get the way I am now . I Just don't understand why things always have to be so unfair when it comes to me. I know life isn't fair, and it only gets worse with hardly any good moments . But no matter how hard I try to be happy or make things work, or keep myself together, no matter how many times I get back up after falling its like it never matters in the end. It's like I'm Just hopeless . I wish I had no emotions
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Randomosity
fallen_paradise, , Depression, Depression, Questions, 0
Often in times of sadness we turn away from those whom bring smiles to our faces. This defence mechanism...
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Do you need a bucket?
uberbobolink, , Depression, Career, Depression, Parenting, Sleep Disorders, 0
This morning I couldn’t handle it. I woke up at 5.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I...
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A day of pain
snowdreamer, , Depression, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
A friend asked me today why do I feel sorry for myself with all my pain instead of giving...
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Ive had enough..
GreenSkies, , Depression, Depression, Suicide, 0
That’s it. Enough. Life is pissing me off. I went out with my ex tonight, and she got pretty...
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fake smiles
finlee, , Depression, 1
So many smiles sit upon the faces of the people in the rooms I sit in but, How many...
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BpdbBqD
elililly, , Depression, 0
had a meeting that went perfectly because i drank coffee. denise was very happy about that. being social makes...
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Boiling with rage!!
naomijane, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Therapy, 2
Well i had a busy day yesterday i went to work, came home had a shower and went out...
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Happy Earth Day
Twiggysiren, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, Therapist, 0
Happy Earth Day to all my fellow Earthlings. I remember the first time I celebrated Earth Day, it was...