I feel like my ocd is very complex… too complex…  In fact, I think its obscurity is partially what has given birth to my obsession with understanding it… understanding it PERFECTLY, which I know is obviously impossible, but like most things OCD knowing something doesn't necessarily help anything.  But I guess in some ways it can be slightly helpful, like today for example… the fact that I had to keep taking off my right sock after I put it on this morning, this really pissed me off cause it's such a shitty way to start a day and the crazy part is I've never had this problem before, but I realized that one of the reason I had no patience for it is that it drives me nuts to not undertand what's going on.  Thoughts or obsessions or compulsions that I'm familiar with are one thing, but I constantly get little things that fuck with me that have never previously caused me any grief, and that really messes with me.  Last night I had to compulsivly check my brothers laptop cause when I shut in down I didn't feel right.  I could think of anything else so I just wanted to go back and re-shut it down… for what reason, I don't know!    Today, I had to keep opening a closing a drawer in my bathroom, and I don't know why… then I had to keep checking my bedroom door to make sure it was shut "properly" for no apparent reason.  Seems my whole day's been filled with things like this and it leaves me so depressed.

Anyway, my brother just walked into the room and is taking shots of whiskey so I think I'll see if I can get in on that action.   peace out, chad.