I have a great new fighting statement: I am going to get better. I am going to get better, whether you like it or not, you stupid OCD!!!!
Hey, I should turn that into a song. 😉 I know we have some other musicians on here, too. Wouldn't it be awesome if we started a band? The OCD Freaks, perhaps. Or the OCDH8ers. We could really let out our anger on OCD. hehehe. Of course, we'd probably end up killing each other or killing ourselves because we feel so guilty about being so annoyed with each other. 😛 C'mon, laugh with me;it's either laughing or crying–I choose laughter.
I seriously didn't even want to get up this morning. I was so tired of it all. The same thing every day with a few variations. But basically, wake up, lay in bed obsessing 'til I get sick of it enough to make myself get up despite my tiredness. Tell all the cats good morning,take my meds,use the restroom, feel light-headed while Ieat some bread on the couch, and lay around therefor awhile, possibly reading or maybe weird listsuntil my head feels better. Then I go outside to say hi to my bigdogs–usually at leastone cat goes with me. Then back inside tolet the little dogandhis troublesome kitty out of their crate. Let the dog outside, put the harness and leash on the cat…. Then most of the day I feel hindered by having to watch those silly little creatures. I can't leave them unattended or the dog will eat the cat food or the cat willviciously chase other cats. But I feelguilty if I ever put them back in the cratewhile Ido anything, 'cause they should be able to be outmore. (Of course, it's not MY fault they won't behave, so I have nothing to feel guilty about.) And it seems like such achore to do suchsimple things….
Anyway, past that boringthing there–I'm sure you all were just dying to know whatmy itinerary is like every day. Today something happened. I don't even know what. Maybe it was that as I lay on the couch, a Bible verse came into my head and inspired meto grab my Bible and readIsaiah 40 out loud tomy cats. (They seem toenjoy it.)
Then somehowthis morning I just decided…I've had enough. Iam going to face my bills. My dad said he'll pay them if he can. I justneed to give him the information. I get panic attacks when I even think about it. But today I told my OCD to shut up, and I went and dug out the information. I've written out what I need to write to my creditors and written down the info I need to give to my dad. So now I'm going to e-mail him. Oh, yeah, and I even repotted my hyacinth today. How did I get that productive? haha Thank God!