As we all know, these moods are often cyclical. I've been feeling myself sliding downward again, and I never even got to have any high points.

Anyway, on top of a major toothache that is going to devour my holiday bonus I got from work, and put me in even more debt on top of that, I got to spend almost an hour in the company of my ex-wife today. At least the pain distracted me from the toothache.

Even worse is what awaited me when I got home. I live with my retired parents, because they don't trust me to not hurt myself if I live alone. This year my father had some intestinal problems that, upon investigation, turned out to be a pretty horrific form of cancer. He had some major surgery in September, and they went to a sarcoma clinic in Houston back in October. At the clinic they said that he needed to be more fully recovered for their tests to be reliable, and wanted him to come back in December.

As I'm sure you've guessed by now, they went back down there and the news wasn't good. His cancer metastasized in his liver and all along the surgery site. The tumor they found on his liver is in a location that makes in inoperable, and it has grown from "too small to show up on a scan" in September to "golf ball" in December. His particular cancer is largely unresponsive to chemotherapy, but the doctors want to try it anyway, in case it slows down the tumor growth. I guess that means that, although he feels fine now, he gets to spend the last few months of his life suffering the pains of chemo.

My dad already has his gallows humor locked and loaded:

Me: Hey, what did the doctor say?

Him: He said not to buy any green bananas.

Meanwhile, the pain from my toothache has started to overwhelm the 800mg ibuprofen + oragel with which I've been treating it. Not only will I have to borrow money to go to the dentist in the morning (which cancels the plans I made for tomorrow weeks ago), but I can't find my insurance information.