Just a caution: This blog contains details about SI.
Ok sooooo.. I had this wart on my foot. Been there a while, bugs the hell out of me. Just now, I attacked it with a blade I have in my room. Now it’s bleeding like mad. The wierd think is, i liked seeing the blood. I’m just affraid that i’m going to slip back into my SI ways ( I guess you could call this SI actually). I don’t want to get back into the habbit of cutting.
I have been thinking about something that happened to me quite a few years ago alot. I don’t know why this thought has been hounding me but anyway. I’ll explain it briefly, as I think I have allready done a blog on it.
A few years ago, I was coming home from a night shift at work, and I had a tyre blow out on my on the highway. This caused me to spin out, Hit a sign, and a rock bank, then finish on a grassy area nearby. I wasn’t seriously hurt or anything, mostly shock, but they were worried about my neck has I had alot of pain in my neck, quite a bit of tingeling in my legs, that wasn’t going away.
I remember being in the hospital, straight after the accident, in a neck brace, not allowed to move. They had to check my back, and if I could feel sensations when they poked me in different spots. This poking went from my head, down my back, my backside, and legs, down to the feet. I remember when the dr said thats what they were going to do. I freaked out. I had so many SI cuts on my upper legs and stomache. I didn’t want them to see them. I didn’t want them to ask questions. I remember crying about it. When the nurse asked me what was wrong, I remember telling her that I was just in pain. Little did she know that It was emotional pain that I was experiencing.
Anyway, they did the tests, I had mild wiplash, and they either didn’t notice, or they didn’t want to bring it up. (about the cuts). I spend 10hrs flat on my back in a hospital bed, in a neck brace. Oh fun times they were.
So much for briefly!