I have been dated someone for 2 and a half years! And I know that without a doubt he would never cheat on me. The sad part is that I get soooo uneasy every time he brings up another’s girls name or say he has to work with another woman. Im scared that I am going to push him away! I react ina mean way or with an attitude that is my reaction to my anxiety that he will cheat on me. I have been tempted to leave him because I can’t deal with my own emotions; however I know that I don’t want to be with anyone else. Iwant to get rid of this anxiousness because it is starting to ruin my relationship.
You sound like maybe you\'re kind of young and I think that most younger people have a similar worry about someone they date cheating on them. If you talk to people who have been cheated on what you find out is that most of the time the \”cheater\” has problems and the fact that the person has been cheated on really has very little to do with them. Even if their is a problem between the couple, cheating is not a good way to cope. In other words, although it seems like it would be the ultimate rejection or some reflection of you, it actually speaks more about the person who cheated. Although people in the media are extreme examples, think of Sandra Bullock. Her ex probably had insecurities and some kind of addiction. He probably wasn\'t capable of having a real relationship. Maybe he couldn\'t handle her fame and this was a way to make him feel powerful. It most likely had nothing to do with what Sandra was doing or wasn\'t doing or that she wasn\'t pretty enough, etc. (actually, did you see the woman he cheated on her with- yuck- unattractive and pretty scary, actually). It was a loss for Sandra being that she thought she could trust him but, actually, she is better off without him. The fact that you say that he would never cheat indicates to me that you don\'t yet feel good about yourself. But why? Obviously you are a good and kind person who is capable of caring for another person or you would not have been with this other person for 2 and a half years. Relax. If he were ever to cheat, you would survive. Don\'t make it a self fulfilling prophecy by thinking that one day he might. Another reason people cheat, especially men is if they feel unappreciated or if their feelings are ignored. Cheating is not the right way to try to solve this problem but this happens. Or sometimes it\'s if the couple has grown apart. There are many things couples can do to try to help these kind of issues before it leads to cheating. Again, though, even if something like this happened, you would be able to cope. There are many therapists and books that are helpful around just this specific topic.