I thought I'd do a nice thing and send a birthday card to my ex's mom. Her birthday is 10 days after mine, so it is easy to remember. She has been living with him for the last 18 months or so. He didn't do anything for her for Mother's Day (not even a card, I bought her a Kindle), and didn't do anything for her birthday last year either. His sister asked me to do something for her birthday last year because she knew he wouldn't. I like his mom, she is a very sweet 71 year old woman, and didn't want herbirthday to go unnoticed,so I sent her a (Spanish) birthday card. She speaksvery little English, and we cannot really communicate withoutsomeone interpreting.What Ididn't know was that his sister was visiting them. I am at work this afternoon, and I get a phone call from them. She thanks me for the card and proceeds to tellmethat my ex is thinking about me. His mother says that she knows him very well, and that things will work out, she is sure of it.His sister echoes her comments. I am frustrated, hurt, upset andright back to the place I thought I left. I made a decision, and my anxiety after hearing this from them is through the roof. I am second guessing myself. My lack of self confidence is making me question everything again. I am working with tears in my eyes and my chest hurts again. I don't know what to believe, what to think. He said one thing and has been saying it for 6 weeks, that he does not want a relationship. Yet they tell me something different, that he is thinking and talking about me and that things will work out if I am patient. I am not even sure if I want to be patient. I know that I have been trying to deny how I feel about him just so I can get on with everyday life. I have even been on a date with a very nice man that wants to see more of me. I want to crawl in a hole and forget the world right now. I feel like a crab in a bucket. I am just about to reach the top, can just about get out, when another crab reaches up and pulls me backdown all over again.

1 Comment
  1. visualist 11 years ago

    That was very sweet of you to remember your ex's mother. Be careful that his mother and sister aren't projecting what they would like to see onto your ex.

    Your wounds are still fresh, so it's really not surprising that you still get emotional over your decision. Just keep in mind what is right for you and don't let others (me included) make any decisions for you.

    I have so many questions for you, but it all boils down to what is right for you. You deserve to be loved, cherished, and respected. Don't sell yourself short.

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