I raised my kids by myself since they were 11 and 5 years of age.

When my daughter, at age 17, said she wanted to live with her mom, I was relieved that I had paid mucho dollars to get her mom moved to town when I did. I had seen the situation coming a year before, and I didn't want my daughter to end up on the street.

But still, when she moved, I cried. Couldn't help it. It hurt to 'lose' my kid.

My son, living about an hour away and finishing up university, had said he'd be coming home in the fall in order to save money for a big move to the west coast to try to chase a dream of his in the acting biz. For the last two years I'd been encouraging my son to make friends, get involved in life, date etc. He had learned too many bad habits from me, being a loner. Over the last year, he has really started to flourish. He broke up with his first serious girlfriend and took everyone's advice and gotten out there, got involved with lots of groups of friends. He now has his second serious girlfriend.

Today, minutes ago, I texted him about the census. I asked him if he was going to put himself as here or there. I also nonchalantly asked if he was still coming in Sept, since that was a determining factor of his place of residence.

Then came the text back saying he was likely staying in his new home if he got a decent job.

I knew that was coming, or why did I ask the question? But damnit, it hit me in the gut. It hurts. I know this is wonderful for him, he has circles (plural for once in his life) of friends. He had matured so well over the last year. He doesn't need me anymore in the way he once did. And that's great, and it hurts so damn bad. Cause that's it.

Both my kids are adults now and both have left my nest, and both are great people and I love them both, but it still hurts.

Peace