I wrote this really long blog about everything and then it didn't submit because my internet dropped when I hit the submit button, so I'll just summerize everything.

Lately everything has been going pretty good 🙂 my relationship is going good, we're finally getting money from work, and to me things are just going good. But the thing is, it's like I'm the only one who is really happy in the relationship. Even though he's done a complete 180 with how he acts, on the inside he's still depressed and all. We're both signed up for a website and on it he has all the dark and depressing stuff and the most recent is right before he went to bed last night. I want to talk to him about why he's so depressed when everything is finally looking up, but he hates it when I "try to get in his bussiness". To me, I don't really see a reason to be depressed right now. But then again, he probably sees it as things just getting worse and worse. He really values his "freedom" and wants his life to be "one big adventure after another". His definition of "freedom" is having no commitment what-so-ever. He just travels from place to place and sleep from hotel to hotel and sometimes just sleep on the street because he feels like it. And his definition of "one big adventure after another" is the same definition as Indiana Jones'.

To me that's perfectly fine to have those definitions, but the thing is, he wants to do that until he hits his 30s and then kill himself so that he doesn't have to grow old. To me that's unhealthy, in my opinion that's fine to think about but not to put into action, it's fine to think about all those things but come back to reality once in a while.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I'm just kind of confused because to me everything is going good and from the looks of it, things are going to get better (hopefully). Ya his mom is still a bitch, yes there are still every day problems, but whatever, it's nothing compared to how it used to be. To me I don't see why he isn't happy with what he has and why he dreads what is probably going to be coming. He has a good paying job that he's good at and enjoys, he has a girflriend that loves him, he has people who try to help him, a roof over his head, a good car and what looks like a bright future. To me, why wouldn't someone be happy about that? Especially the last one. But to each his own I guess…


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