Just remembered something that happened last night. To be honest, I really wish I would have just forgotten about it.
Ever since I was little I've had these really bad dreams, some people might call them nightmares, but the thing is, ever since I was little the bad dreams have never changed. Usually when I dream normally whether I know it's a dream or not I never feel frightened or in danger, but the bad dreams that never change are different. Usually when I have dreams they're a bit twisted and probably unhealthy, I'll admit that. But I'll never be in danger in those dreams, sometimes I fight monsters and even though it's a monster that is the size of an elephant I don't feel threatened, I know it can't hurt me. But in the bad dreams that never change there will be things that are in my usual dreams but they'll frighten me, some how I know that if they get me then they'll harm me. Whenever I have these bad dreams I always wake up either screaming, in tears crying like I've never cried before, or both.
Last night I woke up my boyfriend because I ways crying and yelling in my sleep. I had a bad dream, but the thing is, it was different. It was a long dream but I'll get to the bit that scared me and caused me to wake up. I was in our bedroom but everything was missing except for our bed and I opened the door to our living room and there was all of our things missing from our bedroom on the other side of the living room. Sitting on that pile were 2 clown dolls, one looked more like a vantrilaquest doll (I've seen it before but I have no idea where) and the other was a porceline clown doll that my older sister used to have.
That doll would scare the hell out of me, I never went into my sister's room because of that doll.And eventually she finally put the doll away because it started to freak her out big time. Swear to god that doll was possesed or something.
Anyways, so in the dream I looked back at my boyfriend sleeping and then back at the pile, the porceline doll jumped from the pile and started crawling army style towards me. I don't know why but I was stricken with fear, I couldn't move, I just knew that if that doll got to me then it was going to kill me. So I started yelling for my boyfriend, the doll was about a foot or 2 away from me and then I woke up.
I told my boyfriend about the dream and he just laughed a bit and joked about it. Not funny at the time since I was crying and clinging to him in fear.
It was really weird because all of the bad dreams I have are always the same, and even though there's a few different bad dreams they all take place in the same house, but this one took place in the house I live in now.
I always have all of the bad dreams on the same night, but they always happen in a different order.
The first one is when I walk up to the house, it's dark outside and in the attic window I can see the shadow of some giant monster with glowing yellow eyes.
Then the bad dream moves to one of the others. There's the left hand side porch. I turn the corner and there's three things that pop out slowly and then try to get me. There are two ghosts and a dragon demon looking thing. They look like something out of my normal dreams but something about them scares me in this dream. I feel like if I don't turn around and run then something really bad will happen to me.
Then there's the long pathway. On the left side there's a casino with the doors open, on the other side there's a giant wall. My little sister is running away from me and I'm chasing after her. I'm trying to catch up to her but it's no use. It's not like a hunting kind of chase, it's like at first we were at the same place and then suddenly she left me behind. So as I try to catch up to her suddenly giant waves start to come over the wall. I'm still chasing after her as the water comes over more and the waves get bigger and bigger. The water doesn't touch her, she continues to run, but the water keeps hitting me. I try to swim but it's no use, the water engulfs me and I can't do anything. I try to reach the surface for air but I can't. I just keep sinking. I try to hold my breath, but after a while I try to breath and then I start to drown. After a few seconds I wake up somewhere else.
Only once in all of the bad dreams do I go inside of the house. That's when I go to the library inside the house. There's shelves of books stacked all the way to the ceiling, and it looks like someone would need lifetimes to read every book. I pick up a book it's written in something that I can't read. So I pick up the next book, same thing. I end up taking book and book off of the shelf, and all of the books have writing that I can't read. I just sit down and start crying. Then all of the books start to fall from the shelf and onto me. It's just an avalanche of books, and I'm at the bottom
Usually I wake up back on the porch of the house(depends what order the dreams go in). My little sister is standing there and then an old lady comes up and asks if she wants to see her house. Some how I know where her house is and I keep trying to tell my little sister not to go, but she follows the old lady. Then the old lady walks to the corner of the porch and points to the floor boards and tells my little sister that her house is under the porch, she has to dig to get there. So I help my little sister dig, once the hole is very deep the old lady laughs and tells us that she's going to bury her alive. I push the old lady into the hole and begin to put the dirt back into the hole and bury her.
It seems so real though, I think that's one of the things that disturbes me when I wake up. I don't know. But the only thing in the dreams that ever changes is that my little sister gets older over the years that I've had these dreams. The first time I was about 8, then it stopped and I had them for a couple of months when I was 13 and then again at 16.
These dreams scare the living hell out of me and I have no idea why. Maybe it's because they seem so real, or because I can actually feel the things. I can feel the dirt, the water, the books, everything. It's really weird. And they never change.
I'm no doctor, but I'd say you have a repressed traumatic memory that is trying to surface, so you can be free of it. Since we dream in code, I haven't any hypotheses to offer. Maybe a psychiatrist could help you unravel the dream.