I won’t be on tribe for a bit 🙁 maybe a little in June, we’ll see. My mac is school issued, and tomorrow is the day we return them. Goodbye, dearest computer (god, I’m such a goddamn weirdo). Anyway, back to gay since no one cares about that crap.

There is a trend that I’ve started to notice with my bi/pan friends and myself. I call it the triple come-out. First, one comes out as bi/pan. They are starting to question their sexuality, and don’t want to limit themselves until they know for sure. Second, they come out as gay or straight. At first they adopt the label so it’s easier for people to understand who they’re primarily attracted to, or so that they feel more valid in LGBTQIA+ spaces (you are all valid no matter your sexual or gender identity and don’t let anyone tell you different). Third, they come out as bi/pan again. They have realized that they don’t feel comfortable using that label and want to express who they truly are.

I’ve gone through this. But my third stage has been hard. I came out as bi in February, to allow myself more breathing room than just women. Now, I’ve started to have real attraction to men, and it’s hard for me to allow my head to accept that I’m bi. In my brain, I worry about the validity of my sexual identity, and if I’m really queer. I also worry about the fact that if I’m starting to be attracted to men, am I still attracted to women. I’ve been questioning gender and polyamory for a while, and that’s getting easier, but now I’ve programmed my brain to think in such gay terms, that when I think about men my brain starts to go into overdrive. I’ve had crushes on men before and that’s what led me to (re(re)) come out, but this is different.

Bi/pan pals out there, have you had similar experiences? Do you have any advice?