i dont know where to begin with ,i am a college goer pursuing bsc (hnrs) in zoology strem from hansraj colz ,delhi university ..over the last one and half year ,it has been a deadly nightmare for me ..past year while i was to appear in my indermediate exam ,i developed the habit of visually checking the whitesh portion of the hand thumb,which perhaps everyone has it ,..the habit continued to grow leaps and bounds.earlier i didnt know what was going on .I became curious to know what it is and even went to the extent of surfing the net to get to the heart of it..one day in newspaper ,i came across the answer ,and it was simply a visible part of the thumb called lunula (sometime called the moon because of the crescent shape).At that point of time ,i thaught i had overcame the problem .but the real giant was still ready to haunt me ..as the time grew ,i induled myself seeing and staring at it whenever i got anxious .The proportion grew so much so that even while i used to read the books ,newspaper ,magazine ,the better part of my time was squandered in it staring at it ..when i found the reason behind it ,what was going on,i came to nowhere ,no apparent reason, that made me feel so sad some time .now bad phase of life started ,when i showed consistent decline in my academic arena .i was in the state of vacillation what to do waht not to..From my childhood ,i wanted to read more and more to my benefits ,but that traits seems to be vanished as time passes ..i am so much  engossed in it that i couldnt give my best to the day ..one day i was really frustrated as there was no ray of hope for me or u can say i am not still matured to tackel these things at this age , and i decided to put an end to my life ..it was the saddest day for me because i could nt find posion in medical stores or they were simply not ready to give me anything that harmed ..u people think that i am of sucidal nature u can dear ,because i always strived hard to make a meaningfull life .it is like overcoming one problem to get to the other ..since my childhood ,i have encountered a lot of helath problems like i had to undergo knife surgery for increased appendix and the operation proved unsuccessful which land me in further trouble .i was hospitalised for one month to get back to the track..thank to the almighty that i hadnt to go under subsequent surgery ..now a problem huged me ..thats is continuously staring the whitesh portion..sometime i think in my lonliness how this small whitesh portion can change my life altogether ..now i have been under the guiadance of a phsychatriast and i have been digonised with severe ocd.but my mind is still resistant to the fact that i have ocd,as i surf a lot of sites reading but couldnot find this similar problem with anyone either they have checking ,doubting ,performing rituals ,hoarding,etc .i too show some symptoms of ocd but still i am hanging around what is it what is going on ..the worst part of my life is right near my sight ..my colz has started but i have decided not to go until i find a reson for my problem..there is no use of going either as i used to stare at my whitish portion even i am in class that distracted me a lot from my study..i am really desperate to get out of this hell.an raring to carry my study again .i think my pleasant part of my life is to get enrossed in books but that seems to have been lost somewhere ..so life too seems to be alone in darkness..i always lead a day with a hope that i will overcome my problem soon but as night comes ,my hope too sleeps ...hope today i could sleep well as i have got an opportunity to share my feeling with my dear friends..still i ahve no  more frends on this site ..i really wish u all the best of luck …