Well here goes…

Spent the other night in the hospital. Apparently I have caused some damage to my heart. BP was 194/97 Whew… It was a couple of weeks since I first noticed a pain in my chest. But it wasn't the type of pain they show in the movies. This was more like a muscle cramp, one that could have been caused by Zumba Class… Anyhow. Two weeks later, I notice my arm is weak, two more days, I have some severe tingling and weakness in my left arm.

I go to an urgent care facility, because I have no family doctor. They immediately tell me to go straight to the ER. Since I was able to walk I was allowed to leave. Straight to the hospital I go. Get there, write down chest pain and arm weakness, and was promptly seated in Triage, then to the ER admitting room, then to the Regisration center, they gotta know where to send your bill! Well within 20 mins, I had given the beginning of this story 4 more times… Thinking about this. Why didn't I get this checked out before. Why have I let myself fall this low. If I don't take care of myself, who will? That is why I am so tired. Tired of taking care of everyone else first. But then, am I really doing that? Sometimes it doesn't feel that way. All I am is a pay check. Pay bills, buy groceries and clean…. Nothing else. I am so far disconnected from anyone, I don't even like going to the grocery store. The Poor nurses and Aides didn't even have a clue how to relate to me. I just don't know any more.

Enough for the night. I feel my heart meds kicking in.

Returning to work tomorrow. FUN. That's a whole other story.