Any of you who have been paying attention to anything I do here (both of you) know that I am having marital problems.  I had a very bad day on Monday when my wife's complete disregard for me resulted in my being locked out of the house while she was heading out on a multi-day road trip with one of her friends.  After I managed to gain access to my house, I included as part of a text message communication with her: "I know you don't love me anymore, and I'm not surprised you didn't want to say good bye to me, but it never occurred to me that you wouldn't wait 30 seconds for me to get back.  I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip."

It was especially upsetting and painful because none of her subsequent communication with me has even acknowledged that the first of those two sentences was ever sent by me.  I know she saw it, because she has had opportunity to refer to other things within the same text message.

Today has been a bit different.  Our daughter was feeling poorly, so I allowed her to stay home from school today.  I texted by wife about it around 6:30am.  She responded with concern about three hours later (when she got up).  On multiple occasions throughout the day we have communicated, by text message, largely about our daughter and her progress.  My wife did manage to "subtly" manipulate our daughter into deciding she was not up to hockey practice Tuesday evening, which coincidentally manages to block my attempt to attend one of her private hockey lessons.  I've never been to any of these private lessons.  Also, they are taught by the man my wife has been seeing. 

For any of you new to this, she has admitted to an emotional relationship of unspecified nature with this man, but denies that it has become physical.  She also does not know that I already know who he is.  She did say that he has no interest in a physical relationship with a married woman, which is exactly what any and every man trying to lure a married woman into a physical relationship would say.  This is all beside the point.

The actual point is that, this evening, after she got a few drinks in her, she started texting me with details of her trip, and she sent me a couple of photos she took with her cell phone.  Then, wonder of wonders, she called and talked to me for a while.  She said she wanted to call, "Before it got too late," which can be taken several different ways.  We talked about her trip, and the people she's met while visiting her friend.  She told me about the gifts she bought the children, and described a sun dress she picked up for herself. 

She also said that I need to start considering where I want to go while she stays home with the kids as I have done this trip.  "It seems only fair," she said.

I replied that I nowhere to go.  I did not mention the followup, "and neither the company, nor finances, to go with."

She said, "You should try to think of something.  It's cathartic."

I told her that I was very glad she was enjoying herself, and we said good night.

There was no mention of love, or lack of love, from either of us.  Still, I wonder what her catharsis entailed.

She is due home tomorrow (today at this point) at around 10:00pm.  I hope things are a bit better then.  While I no longer feel that she loves me, I am still madly in love with her.

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