Hey to anyone who is bothered to read this,
I recently moved half way across the globe and have had to start a new school. In my old school I had a small group of my best friends and I was always lively, bubbly and confident at school because of them. I still struggled with anxiety in my old school and it took me a while to find my place there where I was comfortable and generally happy. However moving tore all of that away from me, I am the shy girl that sits at the back of the class and doesn’t speak because I’ve lost all my confidence and I am generally treated like Im a freak. I reached lower moments here that I would of never thought about in my old school i.e. self harm and suicidal thoughts. I have been speaking to a counsellor and she had to tell my parents about the self harming and they kind of mock me and say I should just grow up. Oh yeah the school that my parents decided to put me in was my last choice as the school is very much based around you having friends- it is a boarding school and I am a day student but it is still hard to cope with 60 hour weeks with no friends. I don’t mean to sound like my parents aren’t trying to help they are just sometimes too aggressive and I am not used to it.
I guess I am looking for ways to deal with being the loner, I really want to move school (so it easier in terms of hours and easier to get through the day without friends). I have already tried to be more chatty i.e. asking people for coffee dates but nothing works- any suggestions on a way out of the situation I am in would be great.
EHurd, welcome to the tribes. My heart goes out to you. ***hugs***
It seemed like i was reading about some of my own experience in school (loner, treatment, etc.), and i want you to know that you are definitely NOT alone. If your parents have never dealt with anxiety or depression on personal levels, it’s a lot harder to understand or help someone who is dealing with them. Are you currently in any sort of ‘therapy’ or taking meds? (By therapy, i mean professional-wise, not just school-related or the like.)
i think it’s a good thing for you to try and socialize a bit, as long as you’re safe. You might be surprised at how some people wind up “growing on you” and becoming dear friends. Just don’t jump into anything–obviously–and pay attention to your own inner ‘radar’….(If you feel like there’s something off or wrong, there usually is. Just trust yourself.)
If you ever need a shoulder or wanna chat some, feel free to msg me. Hang in there!
I know this sounds sappy, but when you feel bad, look for someone who is worse off than you. And before you say there is not anyone, there almost always is. Or maybe they are not in a worse place, but their place is still pretty sucky, you can still offer an ear or shoulder. I find I feel better about my life after I listen to someone elses’ troubles and try to help them. It is not that I am comparing or anything, but I feel I have purpose when I offer something to someone else. You may think you have nothing to offer, but a smile, some compliments and just listening mean a lot to many.