i havent blogged for a little while as been having trouble getting my words in the right order to explain what i’m feeling but thought it was time for an update! so much has been going on over the last couple of weeks – i can hardly believe it! if someone had sat down a month ago and told me what was in store i’d have laughed at them and asked them about the state of their mental health! salsa dancing, swimming!!, a gorgeous boyfriend, signing up for pole-dancing classes, bowling, rollercoasters, less ciggies and more food, volunteering, meeting new people and actually having conversations with them! sorting out going back to uni and more! i cant believe just two months ago i was one teeny tiny step away from hospital or worse. its scary but exciting! it’s tiring but i’m feeling more alive than i have in a long long time. i still have a long way to go and some serious things to kick ass on which no dobt i shall blog about in future but at last i feel like maybe i’m getting there. some days still suck and its scary how quickly my thoughts can turn in a dangerous direction but i defo do feel like i can manage them so much better now! and a huge big thing for me… i am back in control of my tablets!!! am hoping i can be well enough to just be on one anti-depressant soon but am trying not to think of that and concentrate on the positives and how they are all working towards that goal! 🙂 i hope if u are reading this and feeling crappy maybe u will be able to weedle out a little bit of hope from this… i know nothing helps when u feel so terrible but maybe just reassurance that you can and will come out the other side again stronger and more determined might make it just a little more bearable. lots of love and happy thoughts x