So I have had anxiety/ pants disorder for 15 years but just 4 years ago was diagnosed with OCD, specifically Pure O thoughts. Winter time is not the best for me, I even use a sun lamp that is supposed to help people who may have Seasonal Affect Disorder. So on top of winter sucking I get in these cycles of anxiety and OCD and I hate it. I am a very lively, goofy, eccentric individual who just loves life but when i get in these grooves, man oh man, i do not feel myself. i can tell my family and friends as much as i want and they will help me in the ways they can but NOONE knows how i actually feel inside. its scary and lonely. and it makes me sad because i know these are not my thoughts. all i want to do is get better and be myself. thats it. i am so grateful for everything in my life, i really am. but i just want to feel myself. it is such a sucky sucky feeling. especially since i do love myself and all the qualities i have. i love spending time alone because i enjoy my own company. but this, i do not like. i know everything will be okay because it always is but i just want to talk to someone who has similar feelings. listen, i love love advice or care from anyone but I’m really looking for someone in my age group (20’s) to be able to connect with, but anyone feel free to contact. that would mean so much to me, someone who has or is in a similar situation. id really love to hear from some others because i don’t think I’m alone and i know there are some absolutely beautiful souls out there who are in similar situations.

2 Comments
  1. Author
    cheesygirch 5 years ago

    hah not pants disorder, that sounds way more bearable…**panic disorder

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  2. Geekgirl114 5 years ago

    Yeah I was like, pants disorder sounds interesting. Can totally relate though, I’m naturally a very optimistic person who finds joy in the little things, a real child at heart. My OCD is constantly in the background, but I go through stages where it just ramps up a notch (as its doing right now) and I don’t feel like myself at all. I’m naturally an introvert, but I become even more withdrawn and I cut people off. I get very negative and I have to force myself to do the activities I normally enjoy, including socialising. It sucks and I wish I had a little bit more control. Therpay and medication do help, but I’m kinda just at it’s whim most of the time. So yeah, you’re not alone 🙂

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