Hi Everyone ! I know it's been awhile since I have blogged. I have been struggling alot lately w/ worrying / obsessing about money. I'm guessing this is the norm. for most of the world right now. My obsession right now is hard for me to talk about. A part of me feels bad cause I know their are alot of people in worse shape than I am in. I have a good full time job. I hate debt, being in debt. This month I will be prob. be $ 500 in debt. I keep telling myself it's not that much or that bad. My cat has to go to the vet for her annual check-up and rabbies shot. I have to get my car door fixed. I haven't been able to open my driver's side door from the outside for months cause the handle is broken. I have been getting in and climbing over from the passenger side for months now. I have been putting off getting the door fixed because of the cost to fix it. I have a week off from work starting on Sat. I am taking a vacation at home. I am so stressed right now. I need this week off and a break from my job. I can't remember the last time I have had more than 2 days in a row off from work. I know I need this time off for both my physical and mental health, but it scares me. Besides going to the vet and getting my car fixed, I am having my parents over for dinner. They are so awesome to me and since I cook for a living, it's important to me that I cook them a nice meal. It won't be too expensive and I have been buying a few things for the meal each week when I go to the gocery store. I have also been cont. to help out my bf who is still out of work. Mostly I have been buying gas, food, phone cards and cigs. I know I need to say know to know. My psycharist and I even talked about me saying no to him. It's just a really hard thing for me to. He has no money. He fills out applications and goes on a few job interviews a week. It's just hard because sooo many people are out of work right now. It's worse than one would think. He knows I'm going into debt this month. He knows it's partly because of him. He says he feels bad about it. He knows how scared I am. Yet he still asks me for stuff. I wish he just wouldn't ask. I know he only asks cause he feels he's gotta do what he's gotta do. I hate being so scared. I hate obsessing over money. I hate almost feeling guilty for even writting or talking about it. It's only money. I will get my debt paid off. I feel like I have and am being bad. I know I work hard. I know I'm being too tough on myself. Just try telling all this to my OCD. I hope this doesn't come across like I'm whinning. Peace be with all of you !

2 Comments
  1. Julian 13 years ago

    Jen,

     

    I am having terrible worries about money right now.  We need to talk.

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  2. ancientgeekcrone 13 years ago

    I don't think it ia all your ocd.  Finances are real, your indebtedness is real and your bf is sponging off you.  Has he tried to do any handyman work.  It would keep him in cigarette money.  There are people that need help with mowint the lawn, yard clean up.  Who knows he could be making cigarette money and helping the elderly and disabled.  Some people need transportation to the grocery store and the doctor's.  Other's need minor home repairs.  Does he have any skills or desire to think out of the box?  $500 is not a bad unmanageable debt, but $1,000 might get dicey.   Be careful, unless he can contribute, even in the smallest way,  You maay be setting the standard in your relationship where you do all the giving and he does all the taking and when you have no more to give, he disappears.  This has happened to people before.  I have read many of your blogs and I haven't heard any contributions, even non monetary, only the pleasure of his company. If I'm dead wrong , tell me; but I'm beginning to have bad feelings about this.\"\"

    Love Grammie

     

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