I had a bad day up until this evening.  I fought with my dad all the way to his work because he said if his colonoscopy tomorrow goes well he's putting in his two weeks notice and therefore NOT buying me a car anymore.  Which was not only EXTREMELY disappointing because I was really looking forward to having the freedom of my own car and I got my hopes up over it, but the implications of that sentence were horrible.  It was basically, "if i dont have cancer, im blowing all our money, so i cant afford another car."  And it's entirely possible he has cancer.  He had a colonoscopy four years ago and it came back with abnormal cells and they wanted to do a follow up, and he's JUST NOW going.

So then I was all upset and crying all the way home and to school.  My math class is first and we had our first exam.  I think I was too depressed to get nervous.  I thought I did really terribly on it… like in the 60-70% range.  But I guess I must've just come across a few problems I didn't know how to solve and got REALLY discouraged, because I got an 86%.  An 86% is FABULOUS for me.  I haven't passed a single math class I've taken since I was 12 years old, and I got an 86% on an intermediate college algebra test.  It's still not good enough, though.  I want to get all 4.0's.  I've never gotten all perfect grades, my mom thinks I'm not smart enough to handle as many credit hours as I'm taking, and I really just need to do this for myself.  As long as I don't pressure myself so much I get sick over it I think it's okay to be a bit of a perfectionist.  But I do feel pretty accomplished over the 86.  It's encouraging.  It lets me know it IS possible for me to do well in a math class.  I just have to work harder and smarter.

I'm going to some sort of "math test analysis" seminar thing next week or the week after that looks at the type of errors you make a lot on your tests and teaches you to recognize them so you don't do it anymore.  And the week after that there's a math study tips seminar I'm going to.  I think that'll help.

I took a nap on the floor in the hallway between math and english, because theres a 3 and a half hour space between those two classes, and when I woke up I had sore throat, headache, fever, and there was a giant spider scuttling across the floor next to me.  Can you say HOLYFUCKINGSHIT!? 

Then for the big news… I doubt many of you are into the Ontario Hockey League… I don't really know how to explain that level of hockey to people who dont follow hockey.  But like, there's professional hockey, minor league hockey, and then junior hockey, and this is junior.  And even though they're not in with the professionals, these are the kids that get drafted into the big leagues.  Junior hockey is a big deal.  There is an OHL team in my town, the Plymouth Whalers.  And apparently my college's video production club has a contract with them saying that we will shoot and air live 24 home games each season.  Anyone can join the club, they train you to use the equipment for free, and you can come to as many or as few games as you want to work with the crew and get used to using the equipment.  As soon as you feel comfortable with the equipment, you say, "hey, I'm ready to be on the crew!"  AND YOU GET PUT ON THE PLYMOUTH WHALERS TELEVISION CREW!  My name will go in the credits after the game and everything!  And I get to go to whalers games for free!  But it wont interfere too terribly with school or work, because you only have to come as much as you want to or can.  And last season, they shot and live aired 9 playoff games on one of the largest cable networks in Canada.  I didn't even know my school had a video production club, apparently it's new, but some of you may remember I was really disappointed about coming to this school since they don't have a film program and that's what I want to go into.  I'd say this is definitely the next best thing!  And if I can fall in love with this like I did narrative film, it'd be a MUCH better job for me.  Much more stable and reliable, and a lot easier to crack into.  And when I do apply to film school, I can say "hey, I've been on a television crew for two years already."

And seriously.  My three loves in this world are film, hockey, and internet.  FILM AND HOCKEY MIXED TOGETHER IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA!