I am far from purrrfect … I say dumb ass things to my self, and apparently I piss some folks off too….. i say dumb ass shit here sometimes too. I rather be accountable for myown defects then act like i have no part in any of "my side of the rd." I am wrong and human .. some have some here whilst i had a manic event or three or more in a year. while others r kind.. I earned my bad reputation

It's hurtful yet the pain of being judged here by people who i shared with is enevitable I suppose to explain i was hacked. I can fix a lap top but what was frozen up the malware darn near crashed my hard drive …. my phone was taken at this time too.

I am worthy of being here. we all are. if i hurt or wronged anyone here accept my amends please.

 

My life has improved from relating with some people you can shun me kick my butt to the curb throw the baby out with the bath water not me cookie. I am frustrated with out a suitable communications device.

I while my moods are not{ i dislike this word LABILE." does anyone who,s bipolar like that word? we did another med change as the lithium was causing kidney damage…… oh but it helped u someone said lol ok let me die so i dont offend people.. I generally like people, hell 33 years of how may I help you. Now despite some serious medical stff I was offered a job in triage 20 hours a week. Dr's said not just yet not strong enough to do all the flash walken. my partner is gone we worked our own version of alcohol and drug triage nurses ….I am grieving broad st everone whom knew wendy we all still messed up suicide it was assisted they wanted me to let him go………… had no part at wont talk to me and they feel like t the cop said no one told me i figured it out many believe me on October 13th 2014 my house mate my team worker Wendy j Tallo hung from a tree….. cops wont tell me who was involved afraid i will snap….. no i wont do the go off thing enough is enough I am not into violent retaliations. Karma is a pecker head despite those th

I still see her in her chair making a joke . if i move the chair will the memories fade? the pain is less sometimes missing her and what its done i have to help others grieve yeah part of my job i pray for everyone in what ever modality you choose ….. this is a plee to all us woman please get a mammogram reasons many do it for you and guys well you know lol you know just get the tests .sorry for rambling on she was my better half lol wife? nope best of the best she protected me she was my marine she was beautiful inside and out. i used to like living alone i stayed away from here did not want to trigger gotta get it out.

 

Wendy maybe talken with Brian {alan cross floyd} i know some of us still do ok thats it for now peace levity joy Rainbow MoonWolfEagle

3 Comments
  1. elf 5 years ago

    No apologies needed here. Aren't we suppposed to be able to rant and let out our feelings here? If not, then we are doomed. If folks can't take what you write it's their problem. You write and share to help yourself. It's been a long time since I have been on here, and a long time since I have read your posts, but I have never seen you direct anything towards anyone. That would be the only reason to apologize.

    I am sorry that you had to quit taking a med that was working. IT is so hard to find something that works, but then to have it do damage to you, that just sucks. It's bad enough that so many meds have intolerable side effects, but when they damage your body, you have got to stop.

    So sorry you are grieving the death of your friend. And under such tragic circumstances. I will pray for you to have strength to endure.

    Elf

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  2. Aswa 5 years ago

    I am so sorry for your loss and all the other crap that's been going on in your life recently.

    People who judge and point fingers will get theirs – you are right to leave it to karma.

    I think of Brian every day and now I will see him having a laugh with your Wendy in a place of joy and peace. 

    Take care, Aswa

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  3. onelyric 5 years ago

    I understand your feelings….tis hard to miss and hurt from the loss of someone we cared so much for.

    We all here have our issues. Good or bad….not all days are positive or we wouldn’t have DT and so many that come here. Never stop sharing your feelings, heartaches or happiness, it helps so many of us.

    Depression causes moods that we can’t control sometimes, no worries here please.

    You have my empathy and compassion, I feel your pain and loss.

    Sending you so many "Heart Hugs"….

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