Another week over and facing days of blankness. my sister rang re: a problem with mum and what to do about her. I thought I had done my bit but now I dont know who to talk to or turn to about this. She is my mum and I feel towards her very differently than my sister does. Now I cant make decisions that take away her wishes, if she wants to give everything she has away then who am I to say no. Whether its facility policy or not, the staff should be told to politely say they cannot accept gifts and walk away, tell the boss and then the boss speak to mum re policy of the facility, but my sister ringing me and expecting me to do anything will only get mum angry at us both for discussing her behind her back. My therapist is away off sick and I feel really alone in facing this and I dont know what to do. All of a sudden since that phone call all the anxiety of before came rushing back. I feel as though there is a weight on me. And it already has been a stressful week with blood tests and ECGs to see if I have had a heart attack and then stress from working with nuts (and thats the staff) as well as helpless people that rely on us to care for them. That nut comment was a joke. We either laugh it all off or wewould be nutty. What will I do, My first instinct is to hide and sleep the days off away but that is what I always do and then I feel rotten as though I have not had any time off. I dont know I feel blank now I cant think of anything.
My week
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