this is my first blog so I might as well release my own personal flood…

Ok where to start… I’m 16, bi, 6’5″, and male

•I’m convinced that no one will ever want to date me, and if they do, I’ll probably ruin it

•I’m feeling disconnected from my friends, like I have no close people (like best friends or anything like that), and that most of my friends merely tolerate me and don’t really include me

•I have low self-esteem even though I sometimes think I look great, because I reason with myself that I must be mistaken, because I feel like no one is attracted to me, I hate my personality, and I always overthink all my little problems and blow them up way bigger than they are

•I feel self-conscious and judged by absolutely everyone, and I feel like people are talking about me behind my back all the time

•I feel like I’m bad at everything because I’m behind in almost every class

•I have nothing to look forward to, other than skiing again and the collapse of society

•I feel like absolutely no one understands me

•I sometimes have thoughts of killing myself, just to spite everyone and make them realise how I do/(did?) feel (I have absolutely no intention of going through with it though)

•(expansion on the loneliness thing): I have mild social anxiety, I’m never quite sure what to say in a conversation, I feel like my friends passively exclude me, I desperately need love from someone, I can’t get a dog to take care of because I have an animal hair allergy, I’m sick of my parents, and I’m an only child so I have no siblings to talk to, and when my friends start dating people I feel sad, lonely and envious instead of happy for them

Ok I’m done

sorry to waste your time