My name is Aerii, I was diagnosed with SAD years ago but I do not believe in medication so my doctor refused to see me or help me further. I am in a relationship with an amazing man and we have lived together for 4 months now although we hardly speak to each other when we are in the same room. I don't have friends and I do not leave the house unless I have to because I rather seclude myself than deal with daily interaction. Since I have been mostly cut off from the world around me for many years I have lost a great deal of my social skills, often when I speak to people I sound a little less intelligent, I say things people don't understand properly or they take what I say in the wrong way. At work I am the supervisor, my boss and the assistant manager constantly tell me that I am a part of the management team and have the authority to make manager discression calls, they encourage me to thrive in a management role. Except they constantly forget I lack the same social skills as they do, yesterday my boss yelled at me for being bossy, which I am not, at least I don't think I am, when I need help I say to whomever I can "when you get the chance I need help" or if I have something for someone to do I say "I have a task for you" and I explain it, but for some reason my boss was under the assumption that I was being bossy to the assistant so I approached her and told her I got in shit for being bossy to her and that if I am appearing bossy I do not realize it as my social skills are lacking and to just let me know. She told me I'm not bossy to her but I am to everyone else, I told her that our boss said it's my tone and she said "no it's not your tone you are just bossy, you are blunt" she also told me that when I pass messages to her from out boss with something he wants done that I ruin her day because she has her day planned. So this is how I am apparently bossy to her. So of course I am blunt, I say it straight out, but I'm getting in trouble for how I communicate things even though I have told them counted times that I don't know how to properly communicate to people. My life in a nutshell
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I know you are right, but for years I chose not to work because I can\'t handle social interaction, I didn\'t have friends then either. When I was a kid I was fine, but not anymore, it causes me allot of problems now that I am fighting myself to try to have a normal life which is proving to be more than a challenge. I visibly shake when I am uncomfortable and when I encounter less friendly situations which is common at my job I not only shake but I end up sweating and feeling like I will pass out, often having to sit down. I try to explain these things to my boss and the assistant and they don\'t understand, they still give me trouble.