I moved to London in the summer of 2006.  By this time, I had extensive notes and ideas for writing.  The thought of showing these to other people was never at the forefront of my mind at this stage.

I had just come out of a difficult time in my life, panic and anxiety and subsequent depression was peppered with an increasing feeling of alienation and an inability to cope with what was fast becoming a more severe form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Having gone down many self help routes 10 years previously, and thinking that maybe I was “fixed”, this dramatic downfall in my mental state caused me concern, yet was a significant catalyst.  I began to read, what I now consider the “other side” of self help.  Heller, Bauby, Haddon…. I could engage and empathise with these characters.

I had undertaken an intensive course of CBT six months previously that had drained and revitalized me in equal measure.  The techniques I learnt from this, and with a new set of authors at my disposal, I began the pain staking task of developing my ideas further.

I had to write about what I know.  I wanted to help others who had gone through, or were going through what I had done.  I spent 8 months attempting to develop a way in which I could tell my story in an entertaining way that would also teach, but not preach. 

After leaving an office job in January 2007, I found myself unable to sleep, and on a particularly rushed journey to Devon, I pulled over at a service station and began to write the first chapter.

When I left Devon a week later, I had written the first draft of the first and second chapters.  The next 8 weeks were spent writing and drinking coffee.  I don’t remember sleeping, I don’t remember seeing friends. 

Snippets were then put online on a myspace page.  The positive response pushed me further.  After approaching agents and failing to secure interest, I made a decision to print independently.  I wanted this out there.