Again, I'm new to this world of general anxiety, and I'm admittedly a type-A, need-to-do-something-now and figure-this-thing-out kind of guy, so I've been working on a new theory for the last couple of weeks thatwhat I am going through is a sort of mid-life crisis. I would love to hear your opinion on the matter as I welcome the advice and perspective of others.
I would think that I am still a bit young for this kind of thing, but maybe not?I'm35. I read online at Webmd that the loss of parents can be one of the triggers for a mid-life crisis. I also remember a friend saying, from a few years ago, that a man never really grows up until he loses his parents. Well, I didn't lose my parents last year, but my wife did — both of them. Her father died from complications with Parkinson's at the early age of 60, and then her mother died (they were divorced many years) from a heart a-fib at the early age of 61 just 4 months later. It was devastating. She's coping, mostly by not overthinking it (which is a blessed ability that my wife possesses), but it's had me screwed up for awhile now.
Looking back, I think I had a "spell" (about 2-3 weeks) with anxiety back in the spring because of this, but now with the onset of the dark months of winter and the approaching anniversaries of these deaths, the ole' anxiety funwagon has kicked into full-gear. I find myself constantly worried about my own mother (who is not in the best of health though she is only 58). She has recently moved out on her own (lived with us for 3 years), and though she is close by, I worry about her health (of course, she's on Prozac herself. I'm currently unmedicated for the anxiety and am doing everything I can to stay that way), and thinking of her just brings up the childhood memories and makes me very sad.
And I love my own 2 kids way too much now — to the point of where I get sad just walking into their room or even just thinking about them. They make me happy beyond belief, and I'm afraid of ever losing that happiness, the relationship that I have with them — of something happening to them.
So does the mid-life crisis scenario make sense? Am I "growing up" and looking mortality in the face, realizing that at some point to love is to lose? It is inevitable that we will lose some of those we love (especially those who are older than us), but this really does suck. I love my family and friends, and I want to enjoy that love, not fear it.
Or would you think this is something else? Self-analysis is so difficult. Appreciate you folks!