So honestly, I just feel miserable and tired of pretending to be okay. I will talk on the phone with family or text friends for a while and they will have absolutely no idea that I have tears streaming down my face on the other end of the phone. When I go on a zoom call for school I make up stupid excuses for why I didn’t get my work done because I don’t want to tell my teacher that the real reason is that I couldn’t even drag myself out of bed so some essay would be virtually impossible for me to do. I’m tired of my parents saying that I’m gaming all day when I’m really just upstairs trying so hard to get my work done but can’t concentrate because all I can think about is how I’ll just fail the assignment.
Honestly, I wish that someone in my life would just notice that something’s up. I’m tired of being seen as the “always happy” friend when I only act happy because I’m ignored by my classmates when my feelings become “inconvenient” to those around me.
Thanks for reading my rant. If you have any advice I will happily take it.