I wrote a blog 200 words long and my net fucked up, i now see that maybe someone is telling me that those words were not the ones meant to come out.

I cannot begin to explain how low i feel at the moment but i am glad i found this site again. i lost my granddad to cancer in december and i miss him more then i know. i really wish i could give him one last hug, i really need it now. i took it so forgranted and i cant put in words how sorry i am. I really cut up my leg because i missed him so much and i now i have to live with the scars.

i just found out that a girl i have known for nearly 9 years has stabbed me in the back to some people that i dont even like.  she told them i was disgusting and ugly and a waste of life. what makes me laugh is i already know that i dont need her to tell other people that! i feel so low and my heart hurts so much because of it. i dont understand why someone could do that to someone they "love" she said i was like her sister as she had none. how i helped her and saved her.

she cut up her arm and i stopped her from bleeding to death, i worried and stressed and gave up my time to help her when things got bad. i helped her.                                       

i thought she would help me when i got low, when i needed help, why wasn’t she there why didnt she help!!! why does no one see the real me!!!

2 Comments
  1. WadeAlexander72 13 years ago

    I”m sorry to hear about what your "friend" did but the sad reality is that there are more creeps and a-holes out there now than decent people. Her actions say exactly what type of person she is. She may try to come crawling back into your life one day, if so – remember this. Don”t ever forget it. She is not worth a second of your time from now on.

    It”s a horrible feeling to be betrayed by someone close. I”m really sorry it happened. Just remember you”re a better person than she is and ever will be.

    Sorry to hear about your grandfather. I lost my father to cancer 6 years ago and I still think about him every day. It gets easier with time, but he will always be a part of your heart.

    Take care of yourself.

     

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  2. ancientgeekcrone 12 years ago

    I'm sorry you had such a betrayal.  Betrayals hurt so much.  Id do need to scold a little.  That is to tell you that you need to value yourself before others will value you.  Whatever you did for her, you also communicated your sense of being unworthy of loyalty or worthy of support when you needed it.  A therapist told me once, that whatever your view of yourself is the world will agree with you.  You need to value yourself before others can agree that you are indeed  to be valued.

    I am sorry for your loss and you have my sincerest condolences.  At the same time, I also have to remind you that the path through life is littered with loss.  We lose our childhood, we lose childhood innocense, we lose the older generation.  Each time this happens we need to stop to grieve, then pick ourselves up to keep going until there is no more path, then we lie down for our long sleep.

    Be brave, take up life and live it while you are still alive.

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