I think the therapist I had when I was first diagnosed was the best one. Even the one I’m seeing now, I don’t feel I can tell her how I’m really feeling. It’s not really counseling as it is activities. I’m working in a self esteem book because I have none whatsoever and I don’t think I’ve ever had much. It askes you to write down your miracle day. What’s the point if I’m so keen on thinking it will never happen?
It got really personal, she asked how our parents diciplined us. I told her the truth–I seem to be unable to lie to anyone face-to-face. Has either parent ever abused you. Well it depends on what you consider abuse. She said if it left a mark, it was considered abuse. WTF?? My parents got belts taken to them and the turned out alright. Ok so maybe there were a few times a punishment or spanking could be abuse but what’s the point of bringing it up when it happened more than ten years ago? If it was unintentionally damaging to my self esteem or whatever, what’s going to happen ten years after the fact? A scar is a scar, they rarely go away, I’ve plenty of self inflicted ones to attest to that.
Was she trying to make me feel like my parents were bad people? I was spoiled when I was younger, I don’t think parents abuse AND spoil their children. But it maybe true, I don’t know. This is from my perspective.
The memories are with me and unless there is away to get rid of them, they’ll stay with me. One that really hurts, I was more concerned for my little brother…my father got mad, not sure why, I had a smart mouth as a kid maybe that was it. He got mad and I think grabbed my arms. All I remember is my bed sliding along the wood floor as I sat on it and he gripped my arms…I still remember my brother crying and asking him to stop. That hurt more than any spanking ever did…I don’t know if I should even "publish" this. I don’t care…the scares are already with me so what does it matter? I can only hope my brother doesn’t remember the incident.
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Rocky Road
TessErin, , Depression, Child, Depression, Relationships, Religion, Therapist, 0
Well again, I have been having a very hard time emotionally speaking. I'll say this first, depression is a...
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Juice Fast – Day 6
lisaemc2, , Depression, 0
It's the 6th day of my fast and I am no longer longing for food. Tomorrow will be my...
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AN INTERVIEW WITH GOD!
outofmymind, , Depression, Child, Forgiveness, 0
An Interview With God WHAT SURPRISES YOU MOST ABOUT MANKIND? That they get bored with being children, are in...
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Scars – Literally
AlmostInFlight, , Depression, Child, Medication, Obesity, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Therapist, 0
There are some things in life I really need to just accept. One of them is my mental illness,...
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The Good In Being Alone
sadviolinist, , Depression, Career, Depression, 1
I want to first say thank you to all of the responses I got to my early morning blog…it made...
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Fear and Grace
sadviolinist, , Depression, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, Bipolar, Career, Depression, Questions, Religion, Sleep Disorders, Spirituality, Stress, Therapist, Therapy, 0
The last few days have been strangesince I last blogged . Not necessarily bad , but definitely odd ....
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Rock Bottom
SashaG, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Depression, OCD, Questions, Relationships, 1
SORRY IT'S LONG BUT PLEASE READ. I think I have hit rock bottom. I am only 19 and am...
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None
mrsbohn91, , Depression, Depression, Grief, Obesity, 4
I said my husband supported me, and he does try, but sometimes I guess he doesn't realize how serious...
hi how are ya many of my sessions i remember the counsler digging in my past from things that happened to the today….. i was also wondering why she was but in the long run honestly i was able to get it all out and off my chest. i was able to talk bout it and not be judged…its just me it helped alot…..but yes to answer your ?? they can dig deep they are good @ that kind of stuff…..good luck