I'm sitting here at work, trying to calm myself down, I just keep thinking about how dissapiinted I am with my “loved ones”. I know that dealing with depression and anxiety that sometimes our perception of things isn't always they way we think it is. It's our reality and sometimes people don't see it or understand why things seem so hopeless to us. To explain it to people it's just kind of a waste of breath because they are listening but not hearing or processing what you are saying. Some people just can't wrap their minds around the fact that people have these extreme fears they can't shake. In their minds people with these issues and weak minded and just need to get over it and suck it up. When in reality we always have to suck it up and no we can't just get rid of these feeling and thoughts. Especially when we are in the depths of “the abyss of darkness” as I like to call it. We are strong though even though they don't think we are. We are hear living out lives the best way we can and are doing a good job even though it doesn't feel like it sometiems. You know I think about things sometimes and think man why can't I find someone that just understand me. Who can relate to what I'm going through. That is actually a lot to ask of people because no one is ever going to understand us. We are individuals with different, fears, thoughts, coping mechanism, triggers, etc. We have to accept that. What we don't have to accept is people's negativity and lack or compassion and understanding. I don't always want to be a recluse. I want to be out there and live life as best as I can. I need to be here for my kids in my own way the best I know how. Some days will be better than other and hopefully someday they won't be as hard. I am trying my best. That's all I can do. I have to stop letting people get to me and control me with their ignorant ways. I have to accept that they will never change. If they do great if not then whatever. I need to do me and just fight the good fight. I am strong. We all are. Please believe that. Big hugs to all of you out there. We will get through it damn it!