I learned that recently. You know how you have the close group of friends but there’s always that one person who sticks out? Well now I really know who it is.

Things got a little heated between me and B. last night. I was texting him ’cause he was bored in CO, and then the subject of smoking came up… I’m completely anti-smoking when it comes to my friends. I kinda lost my voice and I couldn’t talk loudly, but it was midnight for me so he called me and told me how he was smoking twice with his girlfriend after he said he’d never smoke. I started crying because I was hurt, he said he was crying because he felt bad, and we talked it out for a good hour. He knew how important him staying away from that crap was… See, it seems all my "best" friends who would always be there for me lied and betrayed me. All of them knew my stance on smoking and underaged drinking and they swore to me they wouldn’t do it, but… I’ve lost so many friends. They started that stuff up and when it happened, they found people to do it with them and I was kinda pushed aside and left as the Back-up friend. It’s happened so many times, and when my current friends start doing that stuff, it cuts deep…

I’ve had family problems with drinking and stuff, and that’s why I’m Anti-Crap. Like my tío whos funeral I went to a few months back…. My tía…. A few relatives/friends on my mom’s side too… It started out with one bud or one drink, and it was their downfall before something happened.

Me and B. talked for an hour and forty-five minutes last night, and we pretty much then realized the bond we have as friends. I also learned that his parents are starting to hint we go out just like mine are doing… -.- I hate it when that happens. We both already know the other doesn’t have any interest with the other and we’re not ready to give up on our current relationships for that. I love Michael too much to even think about dumping him… I really do love him. ^_^

All this week has been pretty… blah for me. I’ve just been in a bad mood, my heart thing hasn’t gotten better (I’m pretty sure I’m going to be forced to take a blood test this weekend), and I have to go shopping for shoes and other stuff for MORP on the 10th— ……..Which is a week away. Great. Fan-freaken’-tastic. I’m so not looking forward to parading around my classmates in a dress…. Especially since I found out that one guy who likes me is gonna be there. Boy am I happy to have a bf who can hold the arms behind a guy while I punch.

Hopefully next week will be better. I’m sick of being depressed every two minutes and hopefully school gives me a distraction from everything.

~Sara