I feel lost and helpless. I feel broken and let down. I was one who was made up of love and now I am at a point where I don’t feel love at all. I am overcome by sadness and disappointment along with an endless amount of guilt. I know in my heart this isn’t all my fault, but at the same time, I wish it was because I can’t help but know I might be blaming someone else for my stupid mistakes. Have I been making mistakes or am I the mistake itself? I hate the way they love me. I hate the way I see myself. I hate the way I exist on this earth. I am lost in a whole other world but am existing a tortuous life on this one. Why does no one get what I’m feeling? I hate the way I feel. I am alone in my mind but am around plenty. I want to be alone so at least I would have an excuse for how I feel. I want help but at the same time, I don’t. Someone save me, but not all of me. Do not save the broken, only save the full. I am not who I want to be. There are parts of me I wish I could lock up and kill. Get rid of those parts, and if you cant, then get rid of all of me. I am not me, I don’t even know who “me” is. I’m begging for help, I’m begging for a savior, I’m begging to be okay. Are my thoughts the distractions and the disease my cure, or is the disease the distraction and the cure fatal? I wish I could just tell whatever it is to let me go. Let me go into the dark hole I belong in. Save me or release me. Either way, don’t put more pain around the innocent. No one deserves the pain of the immediate hit as well as the hurt from the aftermath. Is this a cry for help?