We are all on a journey – we are told and we see those that seem, never, to have hiccups or worse, and that seem to glide from success to success and also not be burdened (or blessed?) with sensitivity – so people hurting do not effect them, or slow them down.  Well which is the right way?  To help another one has to be UP, to help that person up. Well I cannot see why I keep on falling back to the same old feelings.  I did have an incredible find last week – a doctor offered to link me to a computer with sensors placed on my arms and ankles and head: this reads 6700 body measurements. One of the readings “ you can at times feel lower than earth” Well this is true and now it has been going on for some years I want it quite simply to stop.  It also said it was due to teeth fillings. Is this true?  BUT during this journey I have found God and His protecting religious hands have meant I never feel now totally alone. Having a superb Church nearby is one of the miracles – there have been others – with actual things that have happened and visible signs.  So I thought I was on the journey and these black cloud days were gone for ever. But it takes but one small thing and wompf you are down and not wanting to socialise, to go out etc. Not for long but I want to rid them now for good, as it also reduces energy. I am finding no alternative treatments work and coming off a mild medication is not easy – reducing too fast makes my head spin. Due to a muscle injury that is now on the mend after an operation I am instructed to exercise, so I am now forcing myself to cycle 1.5 hours in the morning and now also the evening a run or long walk. THIS REALLY helps. But it sure takes self control at 07:00 am to get out there but the rewards are so great I find now each day the resistance to get moving is less. Food tastes better also !  I suppose “why are we here, to do what ? (yes help others but how”?) are the themes running in my head, The second is to hope to find a soul-mate – but once bitten twice shy and I just cannot trust anymore – and why did God make girls attractive to men – it would be so much simpler if we could just get on with simple things that do not risk causing pain to either party. If anyone is still with me on the text thanks.

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