I had a dog.

That’s not good enough. He was my best friend.

Not good enough. He was my whole heart, he was my whole world, he was my life, and he was my everything.

Not good enough. He has my whole heart, he is my whole world, he is my life, and he is my everything. That’s better. This is the dog that took over my entire being and then ripped me apart. The dog that my entire life revolved around to the point where he became my life. I’m so not ready to do this, but I need to. Even now, I can’t breath. When he died he took my lungs with him. My lungs, my heart, and my entire self. I am nothing now. My life revolved around him so much that I am nothing without him.

You may thing this is ridiculous. He was just an animal right? Wrong How could anyone feel so strongly about an animal? I’ll tell you.

Mikey. April 16, 2009-Feb 13, 2023

You’ve never met such a gentle dog. I swear it, never. He didn’t have an aggressive bone in him, not even one single cell in his body knew how to be aggressive. Even when that dog attacked him he just lay down, never fought back. Even after that, he didn’t become aggressive, not even towards other dogs. I can’t do this. Not even when being “charged” by another dog at the park(who wanted to play and was a literal puppy not even half his size) did he even growl back. No, he ran behind me and cowered to my legs whimpering.

He trusted me. When he was hurt from the dog, no one could touch him, he’d run away. Until I did it, and suddenly he was okay with it. When he got stuck somewhere and panicked, only when I wrapped my arms around him would his breathing and heart slow so I could help him.

Never did he deny me a hug. I could cry on him, squeeze him, anything, and he’d never even move, unless it was to rest his head on my shoulder or lick my cheek. I can’t.

I want to hold him. I want to kiss his big nose and his soft ears. I want to stare into his brown eyes until I pass out from the sheer joy of his existence. He made me feel okay when I wasn’t.

He stayed close when I was sad or sick, laying with me on the couch in the case of the latter. Watched TV with me, shared nearly everything I ate. Whenever I ate something, I’d save the last bite of the part he could have. When he was gone I couldn’t eat anything because I couldn’t handle the idea of no longer sharing with him. I couldn’t go outside, even to get the mail because he wasn’t there. It was panic attack after panic attack. Mornings before school, right after school, before bed, middle of the night when I woke up and he wasn’t there. I’ve always had nightmares, and so when I’d wake up to see him there I knew it was okay, I was okay, and could go back to sleep. Now I wake up and he’s gone, and I cry, and cry, and I try not to scream and I can’t breath and I’m calling for him and he’s not there and it kills me and I want to die because I can’t do this without him.

Why is he gone

please help me