it's weird how your problems shift and some bits get easier, some worse.

eventually it has to get easier because once youve been down for so long, when you keep making changes, the likelihood of it making you more down gets less and less.

i am the same with wanting to do so much at once but having so much you want to do that you can't, it's like starting to read 5 books at once. you can maybe read 2 or three at once but the more your read the harder it gets, and the longer you know it's going to take. it's easier when you choose to do one or two things at a time. also, when you do lots of things at once you quickly find somethigng else you really want to do and its like noo! not another thing! then because it's impossibly hard to acheive all these things you have to take breaks and really battle in your head WHAT it is you actually are going to do and justify it. depending on how rubbish you are at making decisions (like me) this means you need more break but it's not liek a break, its  thinking time because your minds overcrowded, then you need a break from the break and in that break you find MOREE things you love! its called passion exaustion, i have it and i'v had to learn to prioritise and cross things off the list or it goes on forever and you always feel liek a failure.

i know what you mean about thinking it all the time but being to scared to do it. it's annoying it's like your trapped. yer being a human is rubbish. what i blame is just the fact that people breed and then create you. when you were a baby and you got born you had no choice whether you wanted to be born or not. everyones in the same boat. but soem people get treat better than others and i'v learned from a couple of books that how you get treat from since you were born determines how you feel about yourself for the rest of your life. small ones who were treat like shit always expect to be treat like shit, ones who were spoilt always expect to be spoiled, people who were ignored always feel they are supposed to be ignored. kids who were told to shutup always feel they have to shutup. you learn it's your place in society. it's nurture. bad parents are the worst thing in this world. worse than war and disease. it's not just how you are nurtured it's nature aswell- it's in your genes. you don't just inherit physical things, it's been proven that phycological patterns are inherited, (DAMN!) lol but obviously you can change them, it's called evolution. you can fight through this. you can rewire your entire brain if you want to, you probably already are gradually. some people are lucky with perfect parents and things just come to them but we will end up stronger and more versitile. i feel very similar to u