I'm in that numb stage, the one that just comes silently and snatches you up before you have a chance or do anything to prevent it. My Grandparents and Uncle are downstairs and I came up here to avoid them but I may end up going back downstairs, just because I don't care about anything at the moment. My friend will be here in an hour, the one with me in the picture, and she'll get to remeet them (I've known the girl since we were seven and a half). You know your friend's a part of the family when you go downstairs, whisper to your mom "Your second daughter will be here in an hour," and all she does is whisper "Okay." back. I doubt my friend will be able to get rid of that numbness I'm so acostumed to-and usually welcome–but, if she can, she'll be one of the few that can.
I've been away from my Petsmart family since the 23rd. They're more home than my own home is sometimes. I can count on them to be there if I need them, to be there and comfort me when I can't handle the stress, to give me hugs, to wrap me up in blankets when I'm outside doing donations in 30 degree weather, to not let me get away with much, to help me with my homework, to share food, to make fun of me, and to let me take care of them when I can. It's hard to get accepted into that family and it's constantly changing, as senior volunteers get more busy and move on or stop coming as much. We're not always faithful to each other. Nonetheless, we're close. If I didn't have them, I couldn't have gotten through the first ever panic attack I had while asking for donations. The old me would have taken off, without a word, to the break room and balled my eyes out but the new me, this Kat, sat and asked while everyone loaded the animals into the carts to go inside. I did ask for someone to come sit outside with me because it shook me up inside–it was my first panic attack in seven months–but they understood. I'll sit with them outside, part of them, in a hundle, sharing blankets, warmth, and hot food anyday. They've shaped part of who I am, showed me what it means to be responsible. Without them, I'd just be an animal lover without a cause, a hurting teen without as much support as she needed.