Hi! I'm Kate – Alcoholic. I started drinking pretty late in life comparatively. I didn't drink much or do any drugs in high school, actually, I drank very little, only at “keg parties”. But when I did, I drank to excess. I puked and I got pregnant.

I gave a child up for adoption, then married a guy as soon as he came back from Nam and got pregnant again. (at 17) I got drunk when that child was an infant and dropped her. She wasn't hurt, thank God.

For the next 15 years I was a dedicated wife and mother. I went to church on Sundays, was a Eucharistic Minister and taught catechism, I had a good marriage; worked with marriage encounter couples. I even had a home for battered wives and abused children inside my own home…I was a Girl Scout “Den mother” and went to PTA….but I got tired of being “Donna Reed”.

I started playing guitar, first for the kids, then in the clubs. I started drinking…then using drugs. I was “discovering what I missed” in life by getting married so young… I resented my marriage and any structure! I got divorced…I was finally “FREE”.

I went down really, really fast. I was horrible. I got sober 88-91, but I didn't have a sponsor I actually CALLED and I only did the steps casually. I got to step 5! I remember my sponsor and I agreeing that it was a miracle I lived through my terrible childhood! I never took responsibility for a damn thing. I was “out there” tearing down myself and anyone I came in contact with for another 13 years. It wasn't pretty.

Two years, two months and two weeks ago, through a “fox hole” prayer and God's grace, I found the rooms of AA again. I work the steps this time with a vengance “like my life depends on it” because I know it does.

I'm blessed to have found the rooms again, I'm blessed to be alive. ALL I have is a daily reprieve. I try my best to stay really close to my HP (whom I actually call “GUS” or Great Universal Spirit”) but I drift off from time to time because I am just plain “willful” and selfish.

I'm really big on the steps; I've seen some amazing transformations…for instance my own! I am big on service! I sponsor other women (and to me that means being a “step guide”) and I chair meetings, I'm secretary of my home group and I take AA into the jail when it's my turn. Service works for me. If I have an obligation I will probably fulfill it, if I don't it's too easy for me to slack off and cop out. So, I set myself up.

I'll be the treasurer for our Promises in Paradise convention in St. Thomas in October. 😀 Yea! My life is pretty good today, “WAY mo bettah” than it was when I was hanging out in bars looking for a “conversation” or drinking gallons of wine at home alone! I have a decent job, I'm trusted and respected.

I have a little side business doing graphic art which I love, I play a little music once in awhile. I have a good relationship with BOTH my daughters (the one I gave up found me 8 years ago) and my older grand daughters. I hope to meet the little one soon!

I have OLD friends back in my life after amends were made and tearful reunions followed, those people who should be back in my life, are. I have gracefully not rekindled some “friendships” and I have had to “excuse” a few people out of my life in sobriety.

I choose the people who people my life very carefully today. I try to be a good friend, a good mother and grandmother today and a good example of a woman in recovery. I have a lot to learn. And that is okay. I just keep coming back. If you're not really careful you can learn something new every day…so I try not to be too careful!

1 Comment
  1. kater 17 years ago

    Thank you! I appreciate your response and I'm really happy for you (abeit a bit envious) that you AND your sisters found the rooms!

    I'm afraid I may have misused the “Donna Reed” analogy. It wasn't an act it was a way of life; I was genuinely happy for almost 15 years….I truly loved my husband.and my daughter, the loss of the first one weighed on me, but I had a wondeful marriage. What happened is that my disease was laying in wait for me. When things got unhappy, deaths in the family, family/friend's tragedies, I was the “stong” one…the “saviour” but even though I had all the “religiosity” in the world, and what I considered to be a close contact God … I had no coping skills.

    My life was pretty perfect though my childhood had not been. I went like a duck to water back to the disfunction.

    I went for the natural “fix” for an alcoholic/addict in waiting and the under-tow was swift! No matter how well prepared you think you are, this disease is “cunning baffling and powerful”. Through the 12 steps I have sorted through the mess.. I need no more analysis of it; I just need to continue to do the work – daily!

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