School sucks, home sucks, everything sucks. I’m tired of be depressed and angry all the time. Right now I cannot think of any sort of bright side since school has started. I don’t get to be with my friends, I have a ton of homework, My classes are annoying, I come home and get yelled at because apparently i’m the worst kid in the entire world, and I continue to do said homework, and go to bed. That is no where close to being my definition of a pleasant day. And on the weekends i’m still stranded at home doing work and getting yelled at for no reason. I’m beginning to think this is not about what is wrong with me but what is wrong with my stupid life and all the irratating people in it. I’m so alone and depressed all the time I just hate it. I feel like i’m loosing my mind every day of my life. And any efforts I make to make my life better always result in failure so I don’t even know why I try. And it is only going to get worse from now. Whats the point of being hopeful anymore. Any hope I have ever had for anything has always been crushed so why should I bother having dreams. Why should I bother doing anything nothing will change the fact that i’m miserable. I’m so frustrated! And the last 2 nights I have had nightmares and woken out of a sound sleep. And being as I have nothing else better to do I decided to look up what my dream meant. Their was absolutely nothing good about it. It pretty much said I have a tendency to let me emotions get out of control and I don’t fully express them. And i’m being stripped of my identity and i’m dying on the inside. And i’m feeling rejected by society and isolating myself. And that is only the short version of what my dreams from the past 2 nights meant their were alot more bad things that I didn’t feel like typing. I give up.
My thoughts at the moment
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Stupid memory.
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Strange Dream…
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I always have nightmares when I fall asleep and weird images when I close my eyes… but this was...
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random things that i think
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I built a gate to isolate myself against the wind i used to think that one day i’d open...
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I don't even know o.O
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Responsibility
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Over the past two months I have had to speak to two policemen, five nurses, one emergency ward doctor,...
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“Of what you are, I''m not…”
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"I don’t wanna fight I don’t care who’s right I blame it all on your faults. (I know it...
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Paranoid Perfectionisum
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Boy, am I getting anxious. Sometimes I can get so perfecshunistic, it’s scary. Yesterday I contacted University of Western...
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Anger Issues ~ Please Help!!!
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anger, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Therapy, Weight Loss, 2
It's so hot and muggy today ~ ugh! It's over 90 degrees already; I'm not looking forward to what...
