There are so many negative thoughts running in my head right now such as I am worthless, I am not capable, and I am a burden. So I always close my eyes as a response and think about the things why I should be grateful. Nobody and nothing — not even my thoughts — can ever dictate me for who I should be in the future. For anyone reading this, I want you to know that I have lost so many battles and I have failed so many times but this is me still fighting, and I hope that you are, too.
Let’s chat, and I promise that there will be zero judgment.
Do you estimate your worth by what others think of you? I know that I do. It really hurts me when I am out among people and when I compare how strangers treat each other compared to me and I am treated worse.
I know I shouldn’t do that.
I am not a person who smiles a lot. My counselor thought that because I don’t smile much some people think that I am a bad person and not treating me well.
I feel a lot better when I am alone (although lonely) than when I am around people. For me there is no wonder drug that can make me feel better. It’s the social interactions that I dread.
I work from home right now so social interactions are minimal but I am looking forward to an eventual retirement so that it would be even less.