So, on the same day, I got a triple whammy. One from here, two from another part of my cyber life. Funny, all were people telling me about myself. Huh, gosh, I’m so glad these folks came around to dispel my illusions. Here I thought I was a depressed gentlebutch, and it turns out that I’m actually a happy go-lucky affront to God, pretending to be depressed for who knows what reason…perhaps as a result of my confusion about biology. Oh, and a want-to-be oppressor. Joy.
So, time for the myth busters to go to work.
Yes, I really am depressed. I didn’t wander off the street and into dt because I was bored and wanted a laugh. Admittedly, I do like laughing. A lot. And if I can make someone else laugh, so much the better. But believe me when I tell you that I am a 100%, grade A, prime cut depressed personage.
Every day is a battle. From getting out of bed to deciding to stay alive, I wear myself thin coping with the war going on in my mind, body and soul. Some days are better than others, but all days involve pain.
Yes, I keep my head about me usually. And if I’ve got a word of perspective that might help someone along, I’m not only willing to give it—I’m glad that to discover that I have something to give. I’m not the first person to jump in and shout my own woes to the world. Not the last mind you, but perhaps the penultimate. Just because I don’t advertise, doesn’t mean I don’t know what depression is. I don’t need to earn my right to be here by taking on your pain as well.
I won’t go too far into the contents of the other bits of fan mail I received, just imagine any stereotypical bit of homophibia. I will say this: the gender world is not as bipolar as many think it is. Just because I identify as a butch, does not mean that I’m a man. Or that I want to be. Or that I want you to be other than you are.
Well, that’s a lie. I want you to either broaden your horizons or keep your willfull ignorance to yourself…along with the hate. Especially the hate. If that’s how you feel, wtf are you doing on a lesbian fiction site in the first place? You may be a christian woman, but you’re certainly no lady. I can send you a few drag queens to give ya lessons if you’d like.
Just had to get that out my friends. Thanks for letting me spew.