SO TOMORROW MY PARENT'S ARE GOING AWAY AND THAT SCARES ME, MAKES ME ANXIOUS.. BUT THEN I HAVE TO GO TO MY SECOND DAY OF WORK, WHICH SCARES ME EVEN MORE.. & I GOT INTO A BIG FIGHT WITH THEM ABOUT IT BECAUSE SINCE MY BROTHER'S CAR DIDN'T PASS INSPECTION AND HE CAN'T DRIVE IT, HE HAS TO GET TO SCHOOL, SO HE WOULD HAVE TO USE MY DAD'S CAR & MY SISTER HAS HER OWN CAR, SO THEY WOULD EACH TAKE ME OR PICK ME UP FROM WORK, SO NOT ONLY WOULD MY PARENTS BE MILES AND MILES AWAY BUT I'D HAVE NO CAR AT THIS JOB! IT'S LIKE WHY DO I GET SCREWED? YOU KNOW THAT WORKING IS HARD ENOUGH FOR ME AND IM TRYING TO MAKE THESE STEPS BUT YOU KEEP PUSHING ME AND PUSHING ME AND THEN GET MAD @ ME BECAUSE I CAN'T DO IT. LIKE I NEED A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK, I DONT NEED IT ALL ON MY SHOULDER'S.! I CAN'T HANDLE IT ALL ON MY SHOULDER'S.. & THEN THEY BRING UP STRESSING OUT MY MUM AND HER GETTING SICK, LIKE ITS ALL MY FAULT IF MY MUM GETS SICK. I LOVE MY MUM AND DONT WANT HER TO BE SICK OR STRESSED, BUT I CAN ONLY PUSH MYSELF SO MUCH @ A TIME!!!! THEY JUST DONT GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW THAT EVERYONE SAYS DON'T WORRY ABOUT GUYS, FOCUS ON MYSELF, BUT I'M SICK OF BEING LONELY! IM TIRED OF THINKING ABOUT ALL THE PAST GUYS WHO HAVE SAID THEY CARED ABOUT ME, THE ONES WHO MADE ME FALL FOR THEM AND THEN WALKED AWAY. IM 25, GOING TO BE 26 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE NO ONE BY MY SIDE. I LOVE MY FAMILY, I'LL ALWAYS LOVE THEM AND BE SO THANKFUL FOR THEM BUT I CAN'T RELY ON THEM OR CRY TO THAM ALL THE TIME BC A. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES & B. I DONT WANT TO DO THAT TO THEM! IM JUST TIRED IM SOO TIRED OF IT ALL. IM REACHING LIKE ULTIMATE STRESS LEVEL AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT AROUND, I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE HAPPY. I JUST WANT TO SHUT EVERYONE OUT AND MOVE FAR AWAY AND START ALL OVER. BUT I KNOW I COULDNT DO THAT, BC IM SCARED TO PRETTY MUCH DO ANYTHING!

FML SERIOUSLY, I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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