Today I got a message from the manager of the other location in our work place; "Hey! It's Sarah! I'm celebrating my birthday today at Stella's! You and the boy should come!"
Since I've worked primarely at the other location, I don't know her well. But as my boyfriend is still working over there during the winter season, he seems to voice an interest in going.
Obviously she wants me and the boy to come out. We are a package! (Is that a good or bad thing?) And I'm supposed to be working at her location under her management come 3 weeks. (I don't know if she knows this yet.) (My boyfriend is a manager of the other location I was working at, he wasn't originally. Anyway, our dating caused problems with favourtism and stuff (or so people claimed, it wasn't true and they picked favourites for friendship!), so we decided it's best I work there come summer instead of at the other location.
But my stomach hurts! Most of them are from the other location, I wouldn't know anyone! And, I dunno, I just feel scared … like I'm afraid of making things awkward! I feel that doubt in my stomach! I think it would be a good activity to learn about my future co-workers now, though. And maybe settle in some good opinions. (Or ruin it?)
Everyone wants people to come out to their birthdays. It's like an unwritten rule. The more people who come out, the more popular and worthwhile your birthday is considered. It could just not matter if I come out or not. (Which is likely cause I'm scared.) But I did say; "Sure, why not?"
So, what AM I fearful of?
-no one talking to me and me feeling awkwardly displaced, with other people noticing the awkward displacement
-me over talking and giving a wrong impression, thus, having more people have a negative opinion on me (it felt like at my old location on my 3rd year working there people started having a bad opinion on me even though they've known me for 2 years…)
-people hating me
But why is it all so bad? I have to remember;
-I ALWAYS have two best girl friends outside who love me and don't judge me!
-I do have friends
-I have a family who loves me
-the world is far too big for 'everyone' to hate me or spread big opinions of me
-people talk about everybody! It's just the way life is. I'm not the centre of the universe
-even if I fail, I still have all of these, and I've successfully established friends regardless, so I've been successful before!
-she'd be grateful to have people coming out for her special day regardless
-it may turn out to be a lot of fun