The past clings on to us worse then anything I still think about it and everything that went wrong the only thing that use to help me was drinking my self away, I know this might sound dumb but in order for me to help myself (witch is still a struggle) I lay down or sit in a meditation pose and I thought and dug through everything that has held me back and I forgave myself after realizing that none of it can be changed and I either hate myself for everything that I can’t control or forgive myself and control my future and I did that by little things like planing my meals showering regularly setting alarms to go off every morning and getting a sleep schedule and if you even do one thing consistent everyday you are capable of so much more I’m sorry if this doesn’t help